I have often found myself wishing someone had shared with me very early on the principles and instructions for life that I now share with my young friends who are just now having a go at life.
I had no father figure growing up. Though mum did her best in raising me and sending me to school, we never really talked much about preparing for life. Except, that I should be wary of 3 things: money, women, and food.
Having being raised alone by a single mum who had to spend a lot of time working to make ends meet, there was no particular mentor present in my life. Even my teachers weren’t that much interested in the little timid boy that I was growing up. I guess it was only Mr. Ogala, my primary school tutor, who cared, somewhat enthusiastically, about my prospects in the arts. Ironically, I didn’t like the fine arts that much.
My Niece and I…searching?
A very wise woman once expressed a universal truth in the most simple use of words: “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
Quite eloquent, yes, but that’s something deeply profound to say about our preconceptions. In fact, I think it is so deep in meaning and implications that I find it scary and deserving of our full attention.
I bet it was a critical observation of life that led Anaïs Nin to such a conclusive truth. And if we were to follow suit, am sure we will see the link between our constant transformation and how we see the world around us.
As an example, I once found being gay irritating and a design from the pit of hell. Now my views are hugely reversed. I am now accepting and respectful of my fellow human beings who are gay, even though I still grapple with matters of same-sex copulation.
The comparison game is a deep hole that can trap us forever. We must avoid it and be courageous enough to be ourselves even if we appear starkly different and unpopular.
So in place of comparing ourselves with others and feeling inadequate, let’s pour out our hearts into unearthing better versions of who we are. For the truth is, there’s something incredibly special about YOU.
Out of sheer frustration, I once broke my kitchen window glass with my bare hands – it was a particularly sharp and sudden punch if I remember correctly.
I was mad over finding out too late that a certain new and highly recommended syrup that I had used already didn’t do very well if kept in the refrigerator… because if mixed with the moisture generated in the cold box it turns watery and thereby affecting the integrity of the whipped cream frosting.
In this case, the frosting had become something like a mudslide. The once gorgeous cake had become ugly and clearly unpresentable for the wife of my client, and it was already time to send the cake out.
Life could be blatantly horrible.
Most times, there is no way of understanding why bad things happen, and that hurts.
I get it if a driver were to lose control due to excess alcohol levels. Or if a group of armed robbers got themselves killed in a shootout with the police. But for a good-natured young lady to intentionally kill her self by drinking a bottle of SNIPER DDVP insecticide is incomprehensible.
Though I didn’t know her very well, I always noticed Haleema* whenever I visited the market for my cake supplies. The stall in which she sold plastic items for parties and home-use was just next to the cake shop. However, even if her spot had been far down the line, her beauty and warmth would have still been conspicuous.