I have often found myself wishing someone had shared with me very early on the principles and instructions for life that I now share with my young friends who are just now having a go at life.
I had no father figure growing up. Though mum did her best in raising me and sending me to school, we never really talked much about preparing for life. Except, that I should be wary of 3 things: money, women, and food.
Having being raised alone by a single mum who had to spend a lot of time working to make ends meet, there was no particular mentor present in my life. Even my teachers weren’t that much interested in the little timid boy that I was growing up. I guess it was only Mr. Ogala, my primary school tutor, who cared, somewhat enthusiastically, about my prospects in the arts. Ironically, I didn’t like the fine arts that much.
“This is what is hardest: to close the open hand because one loves.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
I have a rather extreme suggestion to make on how to respond to a cheating partner who seeks forgiveness. I believe my proposal ideal for romantic commitments in which exclusivity is understood and agreed upon. But since our relationships are different from one another just as we are different, applicability may differ.
But before I state my seemingly outrageous recommendation, I would like you to know up front that my source of inspiration is actually Love, not a sense of retribution, although the love I speak of here is of a less favored aspect and hue.
So, let’s begin.
Contrary to the assumed belief that love is particularly emotional and mushy and can be nothing else, there is a side of love that is resolute and principled. It is, I believe, what some folks mean when they use the term “tough love”.
Though largely used in the context of parenting, I believe this facet of love should be well extended to relationships between grown-ups devoted to building a meaningful connection. This is important because we often let our feelings run wild, in a way that we spoil one another and make allowances that potentially harm rather than make stronger our relationships.
Quite early in my life, I had the good fortune of knowing enough to value Love above all other things. It has always been my opinion that true fulfillment lies primarily in our relationships, not in our jobs or careers or earthly accomplishments.
So in that mindset, I had continually committed myself to the business of learning all that may aid me in becoming more efficient and successful in loving people. Particularly, I had pursued the vision of a glorious love life. With the help of scriptures, I had come to understand that selfless love was the key to having a piece of heaven on earth in my relationship.
I have been battered by a series of adverse conditions.
Part of the reason is that I live in a city with a chronically broken system situated in a country with an even more impressive cauldron of mangled governance and institutions.
Among an array of difficulties, my greatest bane was the power supply which was normally erratic, unstable and sometimes none existent on certain special days of the month.
My fellow mainland-Lagosians would know what am talking about, but if you are domiciled elsewhere on the planet, please don’t be alarmed. For us, it’s been like this from the beginning of time – a way of life, so to speak.
And since my business depended heavily on electricity I was increasingly frustrated as duly expected. Buying fuel to power the generator was costing me a lot thereby increasing my cost of production, which in turn ended up affecting my profit margin in the most excruciating way.
First, before I say anything, I’d like to say, for the benefit of my subscribed “followers”, this is no SPAM, but a mild transformation from what you once knew as “SamuelIbrahim.Com” to now, “AyeOle.Com”.
So please do not unfollow, block or do anything that may jeopardize everything we’ve built together…[grin*]. I guess what I am just trying to say is that you are important and that our connection in the blogosphere is very much appreciated. That’s all.
About the blog’s new title.
Aye Ole(meaning “life is not hard” in Yoruba”) represents a sentiment I have held since my early days at the university. To utter the words, do not, in any way, disregard the hardship and difficulties we all face in life.
It is more of a perspective and outlook on life. It is about how you choose to take on the challenges that come without losing your peace of mind. And backing such view and values is the power and quality of our knowledge which, I believe, we must continually develop for the chance at living well and full.
I believe that life, with all its various aspects, could be much more enjoyable and meaningful when we realize the Aye Ole’s, so to speak. And it is because we “know” better and we do better. This is what the blog is about now.
Through real human stories and relevant articles, it is my hope that we could together unearth the lessons that could make our lives increasingly fulfilling.
SamuelIbrahim.Com was a phase of searching and multiple turns and prodding for how to go. AyeOle.com is the way I have chosen to go in my contribution to the community of men and women keen on making our sojourn here meaningful, hopefully with eternal implications.
Here is to a new chapter. Let’s have fun making sense of things that matter.