My Niece and I…searching?
A very wise woman once expressed a universal truth in the most simple use of words: “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
Quite eloquent, yes, but that’s something deeply profound to say about our preconceptions. In fact, I think it is so deep in meaning and implications that I find it scary and deserving of our full attention.
I bet it was a critical observation of life that led Anaïs Nin to such a conclusive truth. And if we were to follow suit, am sure we will see the link between our constant transformation and how we see the world around us.
As an example, I once found being gay irritating and a design from the pit of hell. Now my views are hugely reversed. I am now accepting and respectful of my fellow human beings who are gay, even though I still grapple with matters of same-sex copulation.
Quite early in my life, I had the good fortune of knowing enough to value Love above all other things. It has always been my opinion that true fulfillment lies primarily in our relationships, not in our jobs or careers or earthly accomplishments.
So in that mindset, I had continually committed myself to the business of learning all that may aid me in becoming more efficient and successful in loving people. Particularly, I had pursued the vision of a glorious love life. With the help of scriptures, I had come to understand that selfless love was the key to having a piece of heaven on earth in my relationship.
There are three opposing forces I struggle each day to subdue: the devil, the world’s system and myself.
However, at the moment, the greatest pain is me, and “self-centeredness” is the keen instrument of choice used by yours truly for my utmost affliction.
It is terrible. I am like single-mindedly bent on destroying myself with my array of self-pleasing agendas. Not that I don’t know the Life to live, yet I seem more drawn to the death of me.
ABOUT THE CITY
Of course, Lagos is in many ways supreme. Any day, any time, it could boast of the most exciting mix of people from all over the world when compared to any other city in the country.
It is the main and principal financial hub in spite of having no major natural resources to rely on, and though it is set upon a tiny piece of land on God’s green earth, it is undisputedly the largest city in Africa.
However, regardless of all that good, Lagos is also the seat of the most intense and debilitating stress. Stress, the kind that is chiefly and determinedly mental with its accompanying physical effects. Yes, Lagos is that place where you age quickly if you are really in a hurry to get it over with.
In fact, it is the place where the universally daily-accepted 5 minutes madness displayed by normal people is taken to a whole new unbreakable record level of 24/7. For want of proof, a typical Lagos traffic, on a typical day, whether on the island or the mainland, will readily reveal these distinguishing facts.
How do I know? Well, I live in the heart of Lagos and I’ve got about six strands of grey hair already in my beard and am only in my early thirties. Even worse, is the occasional memory lapse my mind experiences due to being overstretched by the daily grind and hustle in a broken system that does very little to inspire you to go on.
God never stops caring about us even when we think He should. Especially at times when we might have turned our backs on Him, usually because we want to have our way over His. Yes, He still gets involved in our lives even when we’ve gone all prodigal on Him, for the simple reason that we still belong to Him.
We may never see His hands in the thick of things, because we may be, in mind and spirit, too far away to see. For it is so easy to get carried away by our defiance and the negative reality created by the choice to lean on our own understanding and thereby unconscious about how things are being worked out in the background for our recovery.
In sharing my testimonies of rebellious escapades against God, I would say it is at that very moment of realizing fully my stupidity I think the culmination of all that God has worked out for my deliverance becomes glaringly vivid in waking me back to my senses, in a way that I can’t help but acknowledge God’s Love – relentless and sufficient.