Inspired by the popular and ongoing argument over whether Love is enough or just bullshit, I thought it apt to say a few things in defense of Love.
And for the sake of understanding, it is important to note my assertions are based on the meaning of Love having more to do with intentionality, choice, and maturity than it has to do with our feelings and whatever we may want when we say “I love you”.
So, to the Crux of the matter…
Granted, loving as we should (sacrificially and purposefully) does not necessarily guarantee a successful blissful romantic relationship all by itself.
Regardless of how lofty the intentions to make the other person happy, it must often require the agreement of both parties to make it work. A matter of choice, so to speak, either to accept or spurn the Love shared.
A very wise woman once expressed a universal truth in the simplest use of words: “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
Quite eloquent, yes, but that’s something deeply profound to say about our preconceptions. In fact, I think it is so deep in meaning and implications that I find it scary and deserving of our full attention.
I bet it was a critical observation of life that led Anaïs Nin to such a conclusive truth. And if we were to follow suit, I am sure we will see the link between our constant transformation and how we view the world around us.
As an example, I once found being gay irritating and a design from the pit of hell. Now my views are hugely reversed. I am now accepting and respectful of my fellow human beings who are gay, even though I still grapple with matters of same-sex copulation.
“This is what is hardest: to close the open hand because one loves.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
I have a rather extreme suggestion to make on how to respond to a cheating partner who seeks forgiveness. I believe my proposal ideal for romantic commitments in which exclusivity is understood and agreed upon. But since our relationships are different from one another just as we are different, applicability may differ.
But before I state my seemingly outrageous recommendation, I would like you to know up front that my source of inspiration is actually Love, not a sense of retribution, although the love I speak of here is of a less favored aspect and hue.
So, let’s begin.
Contrary to the assumed belief that love is particularly emotional and mushy and can be nothing else, there is a side of love that is resolute and principled. It is, I believe, what some folks mean when they use the term “tough love”.
Though largely used in the context of parenting, I believe this facet of love should be well extended to relationships between grown-ups devoted to building a meaningful connection. This is important because we often let our feelings run wild, in a way that we spoil one another and make allowances that potentially harm rather than make stronger our relationships.
Quite early in my life, I had the good fortune of knowing enough to value Love above all other things. It has always been my opinion that true fulfillment lies primarily in our relationships, not in our jobs or careers or earthly accomplishments.
So in that mindset, I had continually committed myself to the business of learning all that may aid me in becoming more efficient and successful in loving people. Particularly, I had pursued the vision of a glorious love life. With the help of scriptures, I had come to understand that selfless love was the key to having a piece of heaven on earth in my relationship.
First, before I say anything, I’d like to say, for the benefit of my subscribed “followers”, this is no SPAM, but a mild transformation from what you once knew as “SamuelIbrahim.Com” to now, “AyeOle.Com”.
So please do not unfollow, block or do anything that may jeopardize everything we’ve built together…[grin*]. I guess what I am just trying to say is that you are important and that our connection in the blogosphere is very much appreciated. That’s all.
About the blog’s new title.
Aye Ole(meaning “life is not hard” in Yoruba”) represents a sentiment I have held since my early days at the university. To utter the words, do not, in any way, disregard the hardship and difficulties we all face in life.
It is more of a perspective and outlook on life. It is about how you choose to take on the challenges that come without losing your peace of mind. And backing such view and values is the power and quality of our knowledge which, I believe, we must continually develop for the chance at living well and full.
I believe that life, with all its various aspects, could be much more enjoyable and meaningful when we realize the Aye Ole’s, so to speak. And it is because we “know” better and we do better. This is what the blog is about now.
Through real human stories and relevant articles, it is my hope that we could together unearth the lessons that could make our lives increasingly fulfilling.
SamuelIbrahim.Com was a phase of searching and multiple turns and prodding for how to go. AyeOle.com is the way I have chosen to go in my contribution to the community of men and women keen on making our sojourn here meaningful, hopefully with eternal implications.
Here is to a new chapter. Let’s have fun making sense of things that matter.