“This is what is hardest: to close the open hand because one loves.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
I have a rather extreme suggestion to make on how to respond to a cheating partner who seeks forgiveness. I believe my proposal ideal for romantic commitments in which exclusivity is understood and agreed upon. But since our relationships are different from one another just as we are different, applicability may differ.
But before I state my seemingly outrageous recommendation, I would like you to know up front that my source of inspiration is actually Love, not a sense of retribution, although the love I speak of here is of a less favored aspect and hue.
So, let’s begin.
Contrary to the assumed belief that love is particularly emotional and mushy and can be nothing else, there is a side of love that is resolute and principled. It is, I believe, what some folks mean when they use the term “tough love”.
Though largely used in the context of parenting, I believe this facet of love should be well extended to relationships between grown-ups devoted to building a meaningful connection. This is important because we often let our feelings run wild, in a way that we spoil one another and make allowances that potentially harm rather than make stronger our relationships.
Quite early in my life, I had the good fortune of knowing enough to value Love above all other things. It has always been my opinion that true fulfillment lies primarily in our relationships, not in our jobs or careers or earthly accomplishments.
So in that mindset, I had continually committed myself to the business of learning all that may aid me in becoming more efficient and successful in loving people. Particularly, I had pursued the vision of a glorious love life. With the help of scriptures, I had come to understand that selfless love was the key to having a piece of heaven on earth in my relationship.
Just the other day, my dear friend Iris, opened up to me about why she couldn’t bear watching certain TV shows for their flagrant display of adultery.
Regardless of how popular they’d become, Scandaland Power seemed topmost on her list considering how many times she picked on those two.
She was resolutely unyielding in accepting the idea that it is now “modern” to break your marriage vows, especially when it makes you happier – giving you a chance at a truer and more exhilarating relationship with somebody else, who’s supposedly better and more compatible than your once precious and unequaled significant other.
Sunday’s evenings are usually insightful, engaging and entertaining, and the last Home Fellowship meeting was no exception. The outline for the day was about the interestingly controversial topic of SEX, with the title “Managing Your Sexual Drive” to boot.
The time had come again for us to painfully tackle questions pertaining to our sexuality. I could only imagine how uncomfortable some of us may have been discussing such a subject openly, especially within the holy ambiance of Church. But as always we had to deal regardless of our sensibilities, mainly because of the unavoidable importance of sex in our individual lives and relationships.
As a consequence, I have always held the view that in addressing sensitive life issues, we must endeavor to be honest and practical in our approach: meaning, I don’t want you to just preach to me but show me the “how-to-do”.
As an example, one of my favorite pieces of advice from the Word is “Flee from temptation.” It is so unashamedly stark and down-to-earth as if saying, “dude, run for your effing life and forget trying to be Superman!”